The Wedding Planner

As a BTB, the biggest concerns are my dress, hair and makeup and basically, everything about me myself and I. These concerns are of course, a stark contrast for the parents & in laws, who care most about other people, making sure who is to be invited and entertained well.

Having been to numerous weddings and being a pretty experienced guest in Chinese wedding banquets of various scales, it is a given that the future fil's idea will be to have a major Chi wedding banquet in a grand hotel. The only shocking part is that he wants a lot of tables. So, in order to have a more intimate wedding, bobs fought to reduce the number of tables to - 80. Puke blood...80 tables = intimate wedding. Still, it is an improvement from the initially whopping number of 100.

Understandably, I panicked. I told Bobs knowing his dad's character and hosting style, he is going to go to great lengths to splurge on the first wedding held among his children. With a glimpse of some of the potential distinguished guests whom he's going to invite, we have to have a wedding planner. Our hands will be tied, and if Bobs is going to be loaded with new projects, i'm going to do everything ALONE. No way am i going to be a stressed bridezilla, tearing my hair out and looking distraught on my big day. No freaking way, so out to hunt professional help - a wedding planner to the rescue!

In total, we met up with 3 wedding planners. In the end, we ended up with none. Here's why:

1. WP A
Pros: Meticulous, organized with a career background which honed those skills. Highlighted repeatedly the importance of having a professional WP to solve everything from dictatorial in laws, parents who are taboo about everything, to couples who want everything.
Cons: Talks and complains way too much about previous clients. I could almost foresee myself being the subject of gossip, casually mentioned as one of her many case studies who was a headcase (either me or my in laws or parents or the groom) and which under her help, the event turned out to be smooth. Also, when share with her my dress and theme, i could see that we might have a hard time getting along since i like my wedding to be unconventional while she's all about playing within the rules of the book which she's read.
Outcome: Was convinced of her ability and fairness of her quotation. Told her that i'll let her know our decision once i return from a 1 week overseas trip. When i return and inform her that she's hired, she threw a bomb by saying that she is already taken up. How..?? What..? Didn't i give her a week's notice?? Or at least have the courtesy to tell me that she can't wait any longer during the week i'm away?? Fine. Good that such unprofessionalism is shown before the deal is made. However, to give her credit, she did recommend another person.

2. WP B (recommended from WP A)
Pros: Jovial, full of creative ideas, styles aside from plan, has lots of contacts with suppliers and even the government department for some materials.
Cons: From her website and portfolio, the decorations do not look impressive. Granted rustic is her strength, but the decos impressed me as old, used, and just tired looking. However, she shows her forte when she advices against us using rustic theme in a big ballroom because the effect will be shabby. I love nothing more than a vendor with an honest opinion.
Outcome: Having shown her the theme and ideas i want from the pinterest board, she said that she is also trying out a new spin on the rustic theme for her upcoming wedding preparation and that she will contact us with the quotation for production by Jan. Unfortunately, she never come back so that's the end of the discussion.

3. WP C
Pros: Highly reputable and esteemed planner in the industry whose clients are either rich, famous or filthy rich and famous. There is no doubts at all about her quality of work. We were shown portfolio after portfolio, gasping with admiration from one to the other. She is the only WP who treats us a cup of coffee, which shows her generosity and a vendor who is not petty about a working relationship.
Cons: After we expressed that we did not need a wedding planner, but only a wedding coordinator and production costs, she got back with the former via email and none for the latter.

4. WPD
Pros: Recommended by a relative, she should show extra commitment as a friend to the relative. She is very patient and sounds like she is willing to the extra mile by giving lots of tips even during the first meeting.
Cons: Her output is not as good as the previous 3. The visuals which she showed me were not impressive and basic color coordination was not appealing. Although she is not an expert in production, this shows that the basis of wedding planning, such as her eye for aesthetic beauty is not strong. Also, she did not offer to pick up the bill and even went along when I suggested to treat her out of courtesy. This totally erased my good impression of her willing to go extra mile and thinks that she only will do something extra if you pay her for it.

After meeting all the wedding planners, we realized that they all share the below common traits:
1. If you do not think about what you like or a theme you want, they can't help you to think. They can flesh out what you want or help build what you want, but only you yourself know what you want.
2. If you have a very clear idea of what you want to do and preferred vendors, do not bother engaging a wedding planner as they will also source 3 options for you to choose.
3. If you have an outrageous or elaborate theme where it needs a lot of props, engage a wedding planner. If not, have fun running the whole show yourself with all the millions of details required, especially if you are a perfectionist.
4. Wedding abroad or too busy to get married? Then a wedding planner will be good for you.

Since we are something like 1 and definitely know the vendors we want for 2, and am not really gung ho about 3 and 4 is irrelevant, we realize that what we crucially need is a person who can be there, fix everything, and run everything smoothly on the wedding day itself - the wedding coordinator.

Then came our emcee. Well, not yet our emcee but I know since the first time I saw him in another friend's wedding, I will want him for my big day. This is also one of the rare moments where Bobs agree with me since he also witnessed the emcee's performance live. My emcee's assistant insisted that we should meet him in person and was selling the coordination package. Being pretty certain that we wouldn't be interested in the package, we finally met after a whole month of delay due to his overpacked schedule in Dec. We had an hour's chat and was sold on the package thanks to his experiences, fluent speech, sarcastic sense of humor, and his ability to threw ideas after ideas of how to spice up  the wedding. Does not hurt that his entire coordination + emcee package is half of the coordination price for WPC and WPD.

A CH2 mission complete.

Getting Inspirations

Since young, i've always dreamt of life after marriage, especially influenced by my parents' lively but deeply caring and loving marriage. I also thought of wedding proposals and wedding entrances. So, now when i'm really preparing to get married, i realize i have no clue where to start because my focus was never on the planning process. Fear not, as my adult life is now aided by technology, experienced loved ones and self.

1. Pinterest - Arts and crafts have never been a big interest of mine, and the last scrapbook which at first was pasted carefully with precious pics of figure skating (started from the idolization of Michelle Kwan), gymnastics, lyrics and all other interests of mine were soon stuffed with piles of articles which i had no patience to sort out properly. Pinterest means I don't have to do any more messy cutting and pasting. However, the problem is that I couldn't recognize what i really wanted in my board -- because i pasted EVERYTHING i like in one board. My sis took the responsibility upon herself to sort out my mess by creating multiple boards of distinctive themes. That's when i really started to get a hang of Pinterest. I'm now a religious pinner. Though, until my theme is finalized, there will still be mismatched visuals. Glitter/Japanese/Country/Rustic/Lush etc? I want EVERYTHING.

2. Friends - Everyone is eager to share their magical moments and 'the best of' list in either the weddings they have attended/planned/experienced. I guess this is one of the perks of not getting married too early so that i'm also personally experienced enough (to clarify, mochiron, as an attendee/MOH/bridesmaid) to evaluate the options.

3. Bobs - Being with a partner who cares deeply and is fussy about aesthetic does have its plus points when it comes to planning. First of all, he won't need nagging about his clothing choice -- in fact, it will bother him that he does not have the perfect look. Secondly, he shares consistently his ideas and actually reasons on doable ideas with dramatic effects yet being cost efficient. Sometimes, the 'i don't care less' side of him does kick in, and i'll have to nag a bit about how this wedding is about 'us', plan 'together', it's 'our' wedding, and all of the rah rah cheer us both words to pull him back into participation mode again.

So much choices but need to nail it only one time. I just have to start compiling ideas and get my mind to work. Maybe after playing a game...or study Japanese...

A year from now

Okay the beginning should start on 7th November 2014 but we returned late but delirious after the ecstatic surprise we have gotten from Uncle's 60th birthday.  So, no biggie in starting to record the memories from now.

Now, 1 year before the biggest event so far in my life that propels me to the height of my imagined stardom and flaunting my divaness at my fullest as all spotlights are on me -- the bride, i have to start this tale by clarifying that i don't think i'll be a bridezilla (heard a choruses of imaginary 'yeah right' and sensing some invisible rolling eyes).

I've been hit left right centre with 2 perspectives -- some people think that weddings are overrated, and should be a small and intimate celebration with a small budget.

Some people, on the other hand, think that wedding is once a in a lifetime and if we can have a dream wedding, why hold back??

To me, a dream wedding means having an enormous budget, with everyone heeding my call, and me having the power to decide every detail without having to lay a finger to do the actual work or spend a single cent myself. I'm not a DIY or crafty bride, so creating the entire event by myself will not happen.

Nevertheless, i'm a researcher bride and will tirelessly do pinning, researching online and discussing with family and friends.

Therefore, when the reality is that i do not have a limitless budget and have to set priorities, i find this a fun challenge. This means it's a journey of maximizing the value of what i'm going to pay for.

I'm going to document the learnings along the journey and one year from now, my dream wedding project will come to fruition :))